We Quit Smoking – Really?

We love watching the Deadliest Catch, which is a reality show about crab fishing. Seafood, and bodies of water, is altogether more fascinating to me than outer space, or mountains.

Unfortunately, one of the skippers on the Deadliest Catch died. He was around 54 years old. The thing that caught our attention is that he was always stressed out, and that he smoked… A LOT. In fact, he smoked as much as I did.

After watching that, my husband decided to quit smoking. Now, quitting isn’t something new to me. I’ve started smoking when I was 14. I started as an “occasional” smoker at that time. Then I moved on to smoking every day during breaks. Did you know that smoking can help you make friends?

I’m not saying that to justify myself. I’m just saying that it’s a fact. Smoking is a common activity that total strangers can do together. And it sort of starts small talk easier than anything else.

I once quit smoking when I was 17. I was a college freshman, and my boyfriend didn’t like smokers. He told me if he ever caught me smoking, he’d leave me. During our 1 year + relationship, I smoked only a single cigarette.

I distinctly remember one of my friends teasing me whenever he’d smoke while I was with him.

I don’t know if I started smoking again immediately after we broke up, but I just started smoking again. The second time I attempted to quit, was around third year college – it wasn’t a success, but at least I managed on two cigarette sticks a day.

Then came time to do my thesis. Three months of programming an RPG by myself. Those three months were probably one of the most stressful times of my life. I lived on cigarettes and Coca-Cola. My mother said I looked terrible – terribly malnourished and always angry-looking (At that time, I wasn’t living with my parents anymore, so she couldn’t monitor my smoking). That’s when I became a chain-smoker.

About 9 months ago, I went to Korea to visit my parents. My parents don’t have any vices, and they get sick from the smoke, so out of respect, I didn’t smoke. I had successfully stopped smoking for about two months. Until an argument with my dad, made me smoke again.

I married my husband last December. He is also a smoker. On average, we smoke about 1 pack a day – he smokes Marlboro Lights, and I smoke Marlboro Menthol. For those who don’t know, there are 4 kinds of Marlboro cigarettes: Reds (the one that hurts your lungs the most), Lights (less nicotine), Menthol (very light with menthol, burns really fast) and I don’t know what the last one is called, but its box is black and green (ULTRA menthol, burns faster than Menthol). Don’t ask me about tar content – they all seem the same to me: BAD for your lungs.

Three days ago, we decided to quit smoking together. THIS. IS. NOT. EASY. I decided to write about it, so that I could keep track of everything.

Day 1,July 26: We decided to finish our last pack of cigarettes. I didn’t know that I could feel so anxious about it.

Day 2, July 27: When it’s your habit to smoke while working, it’s really hard not to – especially when you get frustrated. We each smoked HALF a pack.

Day 3, July 28: We finished the “half a pack each” rather early in the day. For the rest of the day, I couldn’t smile. In fact, it was depressing. I KNEW this was coming. What I wanted to do, was to eat. But I’m also on a diet… Trying to cut back on both food and cigarettes at the same time, is so hard….. My husband saw me being so depressed that he bought a pack for me. And so in total, I smoked half a pack + 6 sticks from the new pack, that makes 16 sticks. Bad, bad bad! The only good thing I can think of, is that I’m actually counting the number of sticks, and trying not to smoke until the urge is really strong – that’s something I didn’t do before.

Day 4, July 29: This is bad. I just woke up, and smoked 3 sticks. I don’t know how many I’ll be able to smoke for the rest of the day.

You may wonder – how come I was able to stop smoking for about 2 months while I was at my parents’ house? It was because it was a NEW environment. Everything in Korea was new to me – I was too fascinated by everything. But back here at home, smoking is part of my every day, unhealthy lifestyle. It’s a HABIT. And every one knows, that habits are hard to break… Good luck to me and my husband.

Tagged as: Deadliest catch, Marlboro, quit smoking